For the Benefit of Mr. K

Front Page: That's right, ladies and gentlemen - you're getting double the Gerald today. Not-Betty hid all the sleeping pills, so I've been wide awake all day. Damn her. I want to dream of my Hannity again.

In the meantime, I realized I had several more quick things to say. On the front page is the announcement of the upcoming OJ Simpson TV special on (surprise!) Fox, in which he promotes his book, If I Did It. I think people are getting themselves all worked up over nothing. He hasn't even said what 'it' is yet. What if 'it' is something like crocheting a sweater, or fixing a leak in his shower, or riding one of those rickety wooden roller coasters at the amusement park? That'll sure make the media look pretty silly. Until the TV show airs and the book comes out, all we can do is speculate...or we could not speculate and talk about other stuff, like whether Gary Sinise is a poor man's Michael Keaton or the other way around.

Movies: I said I was going to write about Death of a President because I saw it a week or two back. It was pretty good - I'm glad it wasn't about me! Of course, I was surprised to learn of George Bush's death, but I'm sure Dick Cheney will do just fine in his stead. You'd think that the assassination news would be all over the media - I guess OJ's book bumped it out of the headlines, which I can only assume is because America loves to read so much. I assume the release of Thomas Pynchon's new novel at the end of the month will dominate the front page soon, too. At least this film reaffirmed my decision to get all my news from the multiplex. Where else can you find such extensive coverage of the legal frustrations of being Santa Claus, for example?



Gerry's Corner: You know who I can't stand? People who are in their late eighties. God, they're so annoying. And obnoxious. They come into my house like they think they own the place, but what can I honestly say to them, right? "Go away - this is my house"? I don't want to appear insensitive, but seriously - what are they doing here? They don't deserve to be around me and my aura, nor should they be robbing me of my social security. I wish they would drop dead. Just wanted to put that out there.



Back to sleep.

There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe,
Gerry